Healing Power of Negative Emotions

Turbulent emotions and an unstable world

With the world in a state of perpetual instability, the emotional challenges many of us face in our personal lives are being exacerbated by the new world we are entering into.

Uncertainties around health, education, employment, food, housing, community – already prevalent – have intensified and become more widespread. One or several of these uncertainties have become part and parcel of the lives of many. Our emotional resilience is being stretched, and for some people it can feel unbearable.

So, when we get struck with feelings of anxiety, powerlessness, loneliness, hopelessness, depression or even despair, how do we respond? When these feelings are real, when an individual feels them deep in the fibres of their body, what is the solution to finding peace within?

When avoidance is not the answer

As Muslims, when we experience strong, perpetual negative feelings, we may be told, “It’s a test sister – be patient and have trust in Allah”, or “Have you read the Qur’ an, brother – it will give you strength and hope”.

Or we may hear other well intended advice coming from friends and relatives who wish the best for us.

There is certainly truth in these examples of advice given.

At the same time, while phrases such as “have patience and trust in Allah” are valid, they can remain intellectual ideas lacking any depth of traction. To activate these qualities with meaning, so that traction occurs, a capacity we can exercise is that of directing our attention to the internal world with the ‘patience’ (sabr) and ‘trust’ (tawakkul) we are being asked to have.

Another hurdle is that many of us will have received childhood messages that some emotions are good and some bad. We may also have been told that negative experiences such as ‘despair’ are from Shatyan – an audience member put this in the chat box at an online event I recently spoke at.

The cultural conditioning that has shaped us will have led most of us to have developed strategies to suppress or avoid emotional experiences we consider ‘wrong’ or ‘bad’.

The remedy however may not be in emotional avoidance, but in the exact opposite.

We may need to fully feel what is here.

Radical honesty and the power of acceptance

“…and that it is He alone who causes [you] to laugh and to weep”

– Qur’an 53:43

Just like storms are nature’s way of restoring balance in the atmospheric system, the storms in our psyches, governed by the same Divine intelligence, also serve that function in the inner world.

Our psyches ‘know’ how to move from a state of turmoil to a state of inner peace and wholeness. The mechanisms are there, built in by the Creator. All that is needed is for ‘us’, our ego-mind, to surrender to the intelligence present.

This is where the patience and trust come in.

Thus, rather than resisting and fighting against a ‘negative’ emotion, if we were to instead give ourselves permission to fully feel that emotional ‘storm’ in our body, our relationship with our emotional pain is transformed.

For pushing against a ‘negative’ feeling only keeps it stuck.  All the while, the emotion churns away under the surface. The storm gains strength and we get easily triggered into destructive reactions by everyday life events.

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